


Falling To Pieces

by brokenhighways



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Episode Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:29:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25275445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: Jude is jealous when Zero flirts with the girl at Lionel and Oscar’s wedding and he realizes he wants more for himself.
Relationships: Jude Kinkade/Zero | Gideon
Comments: 11
Kudos: 79
Collections: Hit The Floor ▶ Zero / Jude Kinkade, Zude





	Falling To Pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mercury22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercury22/gifts).



> Set between 2.12 & 3.01. 
> 
> Late birthday fic for Mercury22 ♥

Jude’s hovering by the bar when Zero catches up with him. He's been nursing his wounds and burying himself in glasses of free champagne, wondering how he ended up here.

Sulking at Oscar's _wedding_ reception.

It’s bad enough that Lionel and Oscar have entered their farce of a marriage and _no one_ seems to think something is amiss, but Zero’s been flirting with the attractive wedding usher Lionel hired since the end of the ceremony.

They haven’t spoken since Jude stupidly uttered ‘ _he has crabs_ ', not that she cared anyway. Zero's loving the attention and Jude's weighed down by his obvious inadequacies.

“How are you coping with all of this?” Zero asks without any preamble like they haven’t been ignoring each other since the reception began.

There’s a hint of concern in Zero’s voice, and Jude could tell himself this is real; that Zero cares and he’s just playing a character, the same as Lionel.

Instead, he’s honest for the first time since he kissed Zero in the back of his limousine.

What they have is smoke and mirrors, a seedy affair that will only end in heartbreak, and Jude’s not sure Zero _has_ a heart - meaning the only person who stands to get hurt is _him_.

“You don’t have to pretend to care,” Jude mumbles. "Not here."

Zero eyes him strangely. “What did _I_ do?”

“Nothing,” Jude says. “You did nothing.”

Zero probs his elbow on the bar and stares at him momentarily before a realization dawns on him. “You’re jealous.”

“Why would I be jealous?” Jude says, “and careful - this might end up being _deep_ and we both know that you’re afraid of that.”

Zero’s jaw tightens. “I’m not afraid of anything.”

Jude doesn’t want to get into an argument, but he can’t help himself. “Spoken like a true warrior.”

Zero laughs in disbelief and asks the bartender to bring him four Kamikaze shots.

“Frickin’ ridiculous. You know, you’re worse than my ex-girlfriend. You need to lighten up, Jude.”

Jude narrows his eyes. “I thought you didn’t _do_ relationships.”

“I don’t. She was just one of the lucky few that got a title.”

“And what’s _my_ title?” Jude asks, lowering his voice when the bartender returns with Zero’s drinks, lining them neatly on the bar.

Zero tilts his head and knocks back a shot, his perfectly tan throat convulsing when he swallows.

“What do you want from me, Jude? I thought we were on the same page here.”

“We were,” Jude says, “but...I don’t think we are anymore. I don’t think I can do this, Zero. I can’t be a part of your life.”

Zero rubs at his brow and exhales gently.

“I think you should take a shot and tell me what this is _really_ about.”

Jude hates vodka, but he downs a shot anyway. Besides, he needs the liquid courage to make it through the rest of the conversation.

“I... I’m tired, Zero...of feeling like I’m not good enough.”

Zero rubs the back of his neck, shaking his head before he replies, “I’ve _never_ made you feel like that.”

Jude raises an eyebrow and Zero adds, “Not intentionally anyway.”

An uncomfortable silence falls and the faint sound of pop music filters between them. Jude turns from the bar and glances at Lionel and Oscar who are sitting close, lost in what appears to be a deep conversation. He’s not sure what their deal is...but he’s tired of the posturing, lies, deception and bright, gleaming smiles everyone in Los Angeles hides behind.

He wants something _real_ and watching Zero flirt with the girl from before came with an upsetting revelation.

He’s in _love_ with Zero.

He’s in love and he’s never going to be anything more than a fuck buddy, someone who keeps Zero entertained in between pretty girls.

Zero taps his fingers along the bar and sighs heavily. “Jude, you’re being dramatic. It was just harmless flirting. That's what I do. You've seen me do it a million times."

Jude swallows down the bile rising in his throat. "It's different this time. We need to stop doing whatever it is we're doing."

Zero knocks back his second Kamikaze shot and turns Jude with an unreadable look in his eyes. "If that's what you want to do."

"You need to focus on getting MVP, and I need to... I don't know what I need to do, but I think this is for the best. No more mixing personal with professional."

Zero's jaw clenches. "What's this really about? You’re pissed with Lionel and Oscar and you’re taking it out on me?

"I just told you. I'm tired.”

What else can Jude say? That he's madly in love with Zero? He doubts that would go down well.

"Besides,” Jude adds, “now you're free to go and do whatever and whoever you want."

Zero lets out an impatient snort. "I'm not going to apologize for who I am, Jude."

"I'm not asking you to."

"What do you want from me?" Zero asks, and Jude’s struck by how intimate the conversation is. “What do you want?”

_Everything_ , Jude thinks, which is the problem.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Zero echoes. "I find that hard to believe."

"Believe what you want,” Jude says, suddenly exhausted by the events of the day. “I'm going to crash here tonight. I'm sure Lionel will shut Oscar down if he says anything."

He can’t guarantee that Zero won’t show up at his apartment and he needs space.

Jude gives Zero the keys to the Porsche. "Here. Take the car. Maybe take your new friend for a spin."

Zero stares down at the metal in Jude's palm, mouth twisting like he's chewing on glass. "I'm not taking your car, Jude... shit, you can't just decide you're done with me. What happened to Team Zero?"

"Team Zero needs to make sure he gets MVP in two days, or he's royally screwed."

It finally seems to dawn on Zero that Jude's _serious_ about ending things because he bites his lip nervously and rubs at his face, mulling his thoughts before he nods slowly.

"I'll get one of the guys to give me a ride home. You do what you need to do."

With that, Zero turns and walks away, leaving Jude's heart battering his chest.

+

Jude's mind is spinning in twenty different directions, but the strongest one is _where's Zero_? It's been hours since the Los Angeles Devils won the Finals and became champions.

Since the police arrested Oscar for _murder_ and Lionel revealed she'd planned the whole thing.

All he wants to do is _talk_ to someone about it, but...there's no one and considering everything, Jude knows it’s time for a clean break with Zero.

The high of being with him has faded into a dull ache and it would be crazy for Jude to continue.

So, he waits around after the game, hoping to catch Zero on his way out. When he doesn't appear, Jude goes looking, finally finding him sitting in the locker room head bowed down like the team _lost_.

"Congratulations. Ring number two."

Normally, Jude would wince at the indifference in his voice, but...he's so numb inside he can't help it.

Zero glances up slowly, and it's obvious he's feeling sorry for himself. "I didn't come here to be some schmuck on a team. I came here to be a star. That's what you promised me. Instead, I lost everything."

It's ironic because when Jude first approached Zero in Ohio, he wanted him to be a star too. He wanted to show Oscar that he was his heir apparent, with a keen eye for talent.

In the process, he's realized he wants more than his father's acceptance.

He _needs_ more.

Jude’s got to cut out the loneliness threatening to drown him and find a purpose in life.

Over the past few days, he's worked out neither Oscar nor Zero will help with that.

"You can't blame me for that," Jude tells Zero, even as his heartbeat quickens, thundering in his chest. "You were the one who got caught with your pants down, on more than one occasion."

Jude should be sympathetic, especially because he's Zero agent, but... he knows it’s over the second he leaves the room.

He can feel the finality in his gut.

Zero's brow pinches inward. “Are you still angry about that girl that I flirted with at the wedding?”

“Oh, what makes you think that?” Jude tries to play the comment off, not wanting to get into another argument.

“I lied to everyone else _but_ you. I told you I don't do relationships.”

Zero is visibly irritated, like Jude's in the _wrong_ for wanting more for himself.

"No... you don't do relationships with guys. I do. Do you know how I know? Because I want one, with you. After the game, all I wanted to do was kiss you. And what would you have done?"

Zero's still, and Jude's gone too far to stop now, words tumbling out faster than he can process them.

"You would've freaked. Not because people would think you were gay, or bi, or... whatever you are. But because they would see an ounce of anything real from you. You're so full of crap. One disguise after another. You're buried so deep in there, you don't even know yourself.”

Zero’s jaw is tight and his shoulders tense visibly. “You just figure out you're gay, or whatever.”

“Not 'or whatever'," Jude cuts in.

“And you're coming down on me?” Zero continues.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m mad. Mad at myself. Mad at this situation. Mad that I need something from you. Mad that I can’t get it. Most of all, I’m mad that there’s nothing I can do about any of it."

With that said, Jude turns to leave, heart racing when Zero's footsteps sound, and suddenly, he's right there, his hand lingering on Jude's chest briefly before he drops it.

“Where are you going? You're my agent.”

_Ask me to stay_ , Jude thinks. _Ask me to stay and I will._

Of course, the voice in his head is what got him into this mess.

The ' _you have a connection_ ' before he kissed Zero the first time.

The ' _having him in any capacity is better than nothing'_ after Zero told him he didn't want anything serious.

The ' _one day this will hurt less_ ' after Zero made him feel worthless at Oscar and Lionel's wedding.

“I'm done settling for percentages," Jude says. "Percentages of my father, percentages of you. I want it all, and I can't stick around waiting for it.”

He turns to leave and once again, Zero stops him.

“Gideon.”

Jude's breathing hitches and just like that he _knows_.

This is Zero's Hail Mary pass, his something _real_...

“What?”

Zero shifts uncomfortably like he doesn't know what to do with himself. “That’s my name. Gideon.”

…too bad the whistle's already gone, and it's game over.

“I would love to take Gideon on a date. To a public place. And listen to him tell me exactly who he is. If you want that, give me a call sometime.”

Jude leaves the locker room, pausing momentarily to see if Zero comes after him.

He doesn't.

+

It takes Zero a week to get in contact, and it's a request for information on an endorsement deal Jude passed onto his new agent, Lucas.

"Why are we meeting here?" Jude asks, glancing around the Playground.

"You wanted a public place, right?"

Jude's replayed that conversation over in his mind and... it’s not about a public place. He would never jeopardize Zero's career, or pressure him into something he didn't want to do.

It's about being in _love_ and knowing the other person isn't interested in that.

"I want more than that, Zero. That's the whole point."

Zero looks him the eye and says, "What if I'm not there yet?"

"... I don't think you ever will be. And I'm sorry for not being that guy who shuts up and accepts less just to have something."

"So that's it? We're done. We can't even be friends? You can’t be my agent again?"

Jude swallows hard, determined to keep his resolve. "I need a clean break. From everything."

"You said you'd never leave," Zero says softly, voice so low it’s almost a whisper. "That night, that's what you said."

Jude smiles sadly. "That was before I fell for you. Before I realized I'm not cut out for this. I'm... not someone you can just use and throw away. I'm worth more than that."

Zero swallows audibly and looks away. "Where does that leave me?"

It occurs to Jude then that while he has Lionel, Zero has no one. It's just him and his many layers battling for dominance. It's tempting to give in and buy into Zero's charm, fall for the same lines only to end up out in the cold again.

However, Jude’s beyond that. "I guess we both have some things to figure out."

+

"Jude, I love you, but what is going on here? Why are you alphabetizing DVDs?"

"Is it weird that Oscar has Basic Instinct on Blu-ray?"

Lionel’s eyebrow shoots up. "I'm not even touching that. Seriously. What's the matter with you? Can't you call Zero and beg for your job back?"

"I'm the one who quit. With Oscar gone, I've lost whatever sway I had with the players and their management."

"Whatever, I don't even care about that," Lionel says. "What happened to your boyfriend? He's still playing hard to get?"

"We broke up. _I_ broke up with him and.., I'm worried. Wondering if I was hasty."

"Oh please," Lionel says. "Go over there and get him out of your system if you need to, but he never sounded that great anyway, honey."

"I don't need to get him out of my system. I just need to get over him."

"How is that any different from what I said?" Lionel smirks. "Get over him while he's under you. Problem solved."

+

Jude's buzzed when he shows up at Zero's house. It's obnoxious and fancy, yet Jude secretly loves it. The few times they stayed here, he pretended that it was _their_ house, that Zero wanted him in his life unconditionally.

Now, with alcohol swirling in his system, he only cares about one thing.

"Jude? What are you doing here?"

"Came to see you."

Zero eyes him warily before allowing him inside. "Thought you were done with me."

"I'm trying to be."

"Jude, I'm sorry. I am. I hate this. I... I miss you, man. Miss hanging out, miss you being my agent."

"I miss you too."

"So, what do we do?" Zero asks. "What now?"

Jude leans forward, pausing when they’re within touching distance. He presses a chaste kiss to Zero's lips.

"Now we...say our goodbyes."

+

Three months later, Jude gets a message from a familiar number. His heart swoops in his chest and he realizes all the 'progress' he’s made has been a lie. He's still in love with Zero and wondering if he’s made a huge mistake.

Three months down the line he's no better off than he was before.

Oscar's in jail, and Jude's barely heard from him. Lionel's preoccupied with running the team. He's yet to find a new job and yet…

... all he thinks about is Zero.

The message reads: _Meet me at the arena 2moro_

It's not a question or a request, it's just...Zero reaching out.

Jude decides to reach back.

_Fin_.


End file.
